Can of Beans

Satan uses fear and depression to weaken and control us. Let’s turn things around with a little humor. This poem is a parody of Bob Dylan’s song “Man of Peace” (“You know that sometimes Satan comes as a man of peace”).

Look in the kitchen, baby, there’s a meal you gotta eat
Mom’s fixing the standard grub, so take your usual seat
Could be a burrito
Could be covered with cheese
You know sometimes Satan comes as a can of beans

Smothered with hot sauce, maybe a cilantro sprig
Try not to cry as you take a quick cola swig
Be it pork fat or vegetable oil
Beans are mixed with lots of grease
You know that sometimes Satan comes as a can of beans

Well, sometimes they’re on the back burner, sometimes on the front
Sometimes they lead to a wild medicine hunt
But when the bloating comes
You can’t find help by any means
You know that sometimes Satan comes as a can of beans

By the time the delicious meal has ended
Your weak stomach will start to feel extended
Could be on the table next to you
Could be in the dish you noticed least
I hear that sometimes Satan comes as a can of beans

They might be flavorful, they might be rather plain
But get this into your hungry stomach and weakened brain
When you smell something cooking
Don’t be fooled by smoky screens
You know that sometimes Satan comes as a can of beans

They come in many colors and several sizes
And your hunger can lead to many compromises
Whether in a local tortilla
Or prepared at foreign scenes
You know that sometimes Satan comes as a can of beans

Well, they don’t cost a lot at the neighborhood shops
They’re good with fish, chicken, or pork chops
Want to enjoy life? Do it now
Soon you’ll wish you’d eaten greens
You know that sometimes Satan comes as a can of beans

Somewhere down that long and filthy drain
Go our now-forgotten regrets and pain
And Satan soon will slide on down
With his proud philistines
I hear that sometimes Satan comes as a can of beans