Are You Special?
Deep inside we believe that we have contradicted the will of God, that we have committed an unforgiveable sin. Therefore, we are crazy with the fear that we have somehow lost the acceptance and love of God. We go to great lengths to hide this fear and get rid of the guilt that results from the belief that we have sinned. One way that we deal with the guilt is to put it on other people. Since the guilt is too heavy to carry alone, we pass it around and attack others for the faults that we believe we see in them.
We believe that we can find relief from this guilt by seeing ourselves as different from the guilty ones. Somehow, we are better than those others. We are special. We might feel special because we work hard. We might feel special because we can get what we want without working hard. We might feel special because we have good looks. We might feel special because we can obtain pity for our poor looks. We might feel special because we have a lot of money, a nice car, and a nice home. We might feel special because we have none of these things. We might feel special because we believe certain things. We might feel special because we believe nothing. We might feel special because we are liberal. We might feel special because we are conservative. We might feel special because we are part of a big group. We might feel special because we are part of a small group. But we want to feel special. We want to believe that we have the password, the special formula, the special something that will win back God’s acceptance of and love for us.
However, God’s love is about inclusion and oneness. If we see ourselves as more deserving of God’s love than others, we break this union and prevent ourselves from experiencing God’s inclusive love. God’s love is like an eternal sun in its brilliance and life-giving nature. However, we can choose to block this sun from our lives by allowing dark clouds to form over our heads. These clouds are the belief that we have committed an unforgiveable sin, that we have irreparably offended God. And we cannot bear the thought that someone else could be sinless and have God’s approval while we have to live without God’s approval.
We have made a cycle of sin, guilt, fear, and attack. We feel that we have sinned and that God can no longer accept us. We feel fear and we attempt to transfer our guilt onto others in order to get rid of this guilt. Then we attack others because we feel that they deserve our judgment. Then we feel we have sinned against God for attacking and judging others. And the cycle keeps repeating.
How do we exit this cycle, this seemingly infinite loop of despair? All we need to do is realize that we cannot contradict God’s will, that we are not more powerful than God. God created and sustains eternal, guiltless beings who share his nature of love. His will is our will. Sometimes we are confused about what we are, but none of this confusion can affect the reality of what we are and what we will always be.
While we are in a dream, we can choose to believe that the dream is real. However, when we awaken from the dream, we realize that the dream can be forgotten and that it has no effect on reality. When we awaken, we will realize that all of our illusions and errors can be undone, that God loves all of us equally, that there is no need to be special in order to earn God’s love, and that love eternally unites all of us in God.